My Chouchou in paradise

I remember like it was yesterday the day I went to rescue you from that shelter, and yet it's already been 8 years...

If only it had been 20 years earlier...

12 more years of happiness...

It was the middle of winter, cold weather, a fog where you can't see 50 meters ahead, but I had to save you from this life so sad for a dog.

We immediately hit it off and understood each other. I had my little Milou and you had a new master, a home, you could eat what you wanted, you were warm and cozy.

You were immediately accepted by your 2 new brothers, Rambo the shepherd and Tonton the Loulou.

I tried my best to make you forget your past and the bad times you'd had in the shelter.

I think I succeeded when I see the sincere love I received from you.

When I'd come home from work, you'd show me your joy, which I'd reward with hugs, kind words and your favorite cookie.

Then it was cuddle time, as you snuggled in my arms and happily fell asleep for a few minutes, always too short. And in the evening, you'd fall asleep in my arm, your head against mine, on my shoulder, and we'd have sweet dreams until morning.

I know, I've often been told ...a dog in a bed..., when you love, you don't count, you give your all to that love.

And then came Canaille, a female wire-haired fox. A poor little animal, mistreated, homeless, forced to steal for food and whose owners wanted to have her euthanized because she had killed a duck.

If I can feed 3 dogs, I can feed 4, and my heart couldn't resist saving this poor little creature too. And then there were those 3 young Canaille dogs we had reserved for ourselves, but didn't want at the last minute because they weren't purebreds. Never put them in a shelter.

Life went on without a hitch until Thursday February 22, 2001.

A phone call at work.

Francis, the dogs have been fighting and Milou is hurt.

How did this happen? As usual, dogs left to roam free, onlookers who come onto the public highway so that their dog doesn't soil their yard by urinating or ...

In 1 word, because of people who get a dog but don't accept the inconvenience... Why have you been left alone with these 3 strong youngsters who only want to play?

The vet who examined you decided that your heart could no longer support you, and that if by some miracle you survived, you would certainly be paralyzed. He didn't take any X-rays, he gave his diagnosis without trying to save you, because you were certainly too weak to show your will to live, but you were still breathing, so you were fighting to survive.

I wasn't there to make the decision, my wife was. Did she make the right decision? I doubt it very much.

I'm sure I would have opted to do everything to save you, and even if you'd been left a little disabled, with a slight limp for example, you'd still be alive. You would have suffered, but my love would have helped you overcome it and you would have come through. And if, unfortunately, it came to this extreme solution, I would have wanted so much for you to breathe your last in my arms.

Alas, by the time I got back, it was too late: my baby was dead, this life you loved so much had been taken away from you, WHY ?

Half an hour and I was back home. Maybe half an hour more of suffering for you, but we don't have the right to take the life of a loved one like that, even if it's just a beast, as some people like to say, and it hurts to hear those words.

Your eyes were still open, sad to have suffered that fight, but above all you had this glimmer of hope, this strength to have tried to resist until I came back, this look in which I understood that you knew I would have acted differently and that you forgave me. Your beautiful eyes were filled with a great sadness at being forced to leave without seeing me again to support and protect you, filled with a glow they didn't understand. Eyes that begged and said :

Don't kill me, I want to live, I want to see my beloved friend again, he'll save me a second time, I've still got many long years of happiness ahead of me.

I took you in my arms and held you close to my heart and I broke down in tears, it was like a stab in the heart.

Why did someone kill my baby, why did he leave me ?

I blame myself for not coming back in time, and I curse those heartless people who, each in their own way, helped to make you suffer and kill you.

You weren't hurt at all, just reddened thighs from being bitten while playing, but no open wounds.

Now you'll rest in my secret garden, you'll have flowers, I'll visit you every day with tears in my eyes, and then in time...

The sadness will go... but you'll stay in my heart forever.

You'll always be my little darling who gave me so much friendship, so much love with a sincerity I've never known in a human being. When you gave me a kiss, it wasn't a Judas kiss, but something that only people who love animals can understand.

It's true that at the end of every winter you looked like a bandit because you had to be groomed, but groomed or not, you were the most handsome and kindest.

Alas, that's the way life is: for dogs, a happy life that's far too short, or an unhappy life that's far too long, and for the owner, the loss of a friend he'd have loved to keep all his life.

I still have the love of your 2 brothers, your sister and the 3 little ones, but none of them will take your place in my heart, I'll never forget you, you've gone and taken a corner of my heart with you.

I know, you'll tell me that in some time... but I loved this little furry fellow so much, I have his photo in front of my computer and it seems to me that he's saying to me :

It's not your fault Francis, I'm crying too, where I am, to be separated from you, but our hearts remain united for life (the one you have left without me).

I beg you my friend, never forget me, you were my breath of life and if I could have a second life, it's with you that I'd spend it, I really had a happy life with you, alas much too short.

Farewell my lifelong friend, please don't cry, I'm no longer here to console you, so do me this favor, when you look at my photo, give me a smile... If you can...

Don't forget that I really loved you, keep hoping that one day, in heaven, we'll meet again and nothing will ever separate us again.